Oh dear, you've found the secret slime cave lair of Enforcer @ Draggian Universe where they put their awful little thoughts. Get out while you can. Established June 2024 as somewhere to put my angsty thoughts about how Falling In Reverse sucks other than the void and annoying my friends.
Enter at your own risk; this is where I put spur of the moment random nonsense, angst, and opinions to get them out of my brain. When I say slime, I mean slime. And possibly full on possession. There will be no content warnings.
The 50 most recent thoughts are being shown. A curated selection of old thoughts I thought were useful, funny, and/or interesting can be found here.
Clarity note: Timestamps on thoughts might not be accurate. I update from both my desktop and my phone. Desktop Librewolf thinks I'm on UTC, but my phone uses local time.
okay, date for getting a haircut has been moved to ASAP once it's not snowing or Wednesday when I need to do observations, whatever comes first, because the fringe has developed enough length to visibly spiral / curl, which is dysphoria inducing and not permitted.
whoops that wasn't supposed to be HTML but it looks really funny and self-demonstrating so I'm keeping it
I really like the new layout. Not only is it easier to update (the old sidebar was quite clunky), it feels like me in a way the previous version didn't anymore and also more modern and cleaner. (While still having web 1.0 swag.)
Plus I learned how to use CSS grids and the tag.
The rest of my pages are fine. They're basically just big boxes with text and thematic backgrounds, and they do what they need to re: being readable and having the right vibes, but the homepage is special since it's the introduction to me and the site.
I don't intend to put substantial GIFs and other such things on the other pages, because the point of the other pages is to host the information / writing / art contained therein; extra flashy graphics would be a distraction.
would totally kiss screentogif on the mouth if it were a person
On one hand, I like the gender affirmation of having body / facial hair. On the other, I find it annoying logistically (especially pubes where it traps sweat and other such crud) and don't really dig the reminder that this body is a mammal. (I don't mind having head hair, though. Good news is that some versions of snake people have it.)
The ideal would be if I grew scales in the same color as my head hair, or preferably black, in the same locations as androgenic body hair. Best of both worlds. That's what I'm giving dragon Arlo whenever I draw his ref. Maybe I'll do so for myself, too, although I don't really want to commission nudes of either of us.
Damn it, it's snowing again. And supposed to be doing so the entire front half of the week and not getting above freezing all week so there won't be melt. I know yesterday conditions were extremely hazardous because it had all frozen solid and slippery.
Yes, I know I could make a status.cafe, but I donât like the vibes there. Thoughts page is nice. Thoughts page feels genuine. This is my random bullshit journal and it is not even pretending to be 2005 social media. It is not meant to be short and punchy unless I want it to be.
As long as you are engaging with something (no matter what that is) because you honestly enjoy it or it resonates with you, you are not a âposerâ. What matters isnât what clothes you wear or bands you know; itâs that you connect with something about subcultural trappings and want to explore that and integrate it into your life in a way youâre comfortable with. The only âposersâ are assholes who use subcultural trappings for evil or to violate their core values. If you refer to bigots as âedgyâ, or let them claim that word, I will stab you. For an inclusive value of âpunkâ, Nazi punks fuck off.
Anyway, I sent in an app for a punk webring and being an emo faggot with a T dick hate boner for Ronnie Radke, Iâm a little nervous about what they think of me. But, like, I know my shit. I may be into metalcore / nu metal / post-hardcore, but I study and deeply engage with it and communicate / embody / resonate with core punk ideals. No one can give me any shit about not belonging; my scene credentials are carved into my fucking soul with APA citations.
okay yeah everything being limited in height looks kinda gross on thoughts.page proper, but the point of this page is being my journal that gets copied to the neocities. if you wanna see long thoughts in nicer looking form do it on the archive babe
let's GOOOO we are UPDATING THE HOMEPAGE with a STATUS SECTION and it's got IFRAMES
fuck it maybe i should just go to bed
remember, kids, i only exist in the abstract
maybe the problem is that i am not at its core a chaotic being
i don't do "webcore"; a pile of incoherent gifs would be incorrect and inaccurate, but on some level they resonate. but fates and i already got as many blinkies as we could think of and i'm not fuckin touching deviant art
just want to be / fuck / kill ronnie and cease even making a semblance at pretending to be a functional adult human being
i don't really much want to do anything but tomorrow i need to go to the bank and get more sudafed if it's not snowing. maybe i can get indian food by the bank while i'm there that would be fun
fuck i wish there were more than two tattoo places in red'ville and they weren't both booked i so want to get stabbed
no, i will not start doing it myself because i can't do proper disinfection living in a frathouse and also my fine motor skills suck ass; same reason i have gel for my testosterone
also i have little interest in simple symbols and anything in my art style is gonna become gross within N years so i do not want permanently on my body; hence why everything i have is custom designs that have been redrawn
i shouldn't be awake but i'm not sleepy but i don't want to do dailies or write or draw
if i do my dailies now what the fuck do i do with myself tomorrow
there are few things that hit as hard as pokemon sun and moon and that's over now so fates and i are stuck here
booted up linux for the first time since january 30th to get signal resynced cause i switched to molly on the phone. hoping that disabling google play in app settings works after september because i want my fucking emulators there are no good games on android and i have no interest in console jailbreaking
fuck dephoning as discussed
i want to get more tattoos and bleed and fuck and fight and kill google play
sick of presenting as a human being
i want to scream without my mouth filling up with slime
...honestly, my USB-C port no longer working for data is almost annoying enough to warrant replacing the phone by itself, but it still works for everything else and I'm fully capable of exchanging photos / music through the Internet albeit it's annoying.
I'm not totally sure how water damage and subsequent repair broke my port for data but not power, but ever since the accident and coming back from the repair shop, no combination of computers, USB ports, and cables which I knew worked before will recognize it as a drive. It'll charge, but I can't exchange files, so I dump camera to mega.nz now and haven't done a scene assessment since last fall.
If disabling play services doesn't turn out to work, then I guess the whole thing is pointless, but at least if I get a real Canadian number I can finally get rewards at the grocery store. (and there's still the option of buying a second device whose USB port DOES work to install a custom ROM and my fun stuff on and then leaving the one with a SIM as the "dumb phone" that does google play, contact, and that's it)
well, I sure hope that disabling google play services works, because I can't get the wireless debugging tools for installing outside of google play working, and I can't do wired debugging because my USB-C port no longer works for data. (ever since the accident, no computer I have will recognize my phone as a data having device on any USB port with any cable, including ones that worked before.)
okay anyapk has defeated me guess we're trying adb
okay apparently I don't need to go through a computer and am somehow pairing the phone for usb debugging with...itself? what the fuck
attempting to set up android studio with anyapk because i want my fuckin emulators to work after september
can't do usb debuggin because my phone's usb port stopped supportin data when i dropped it in the toilet last year so i gotta do wireless
also disabled google play services from settings i just hope that fuckin works because all the guides about it are TERRIBLE and also require USB which I can not do and even if I could, I don't know what I'm doing and I don't trust the poorly written guides not to break my phone
just need to change plans / carriers to get a real canadian phone number so i don't need talkatone anymore which i would need to do when i got a new phone anyway since my current carrier has north american plans but does not sell devices in canada
still sick, mad at classmates for ableist bullshit, and forecast is 48 hours of precipitation that can't decide what state of matter it is after it was actually nice and I fucking saw grass for the first time since November earlier this week. Haven't slept at all well in 4 consecutive days and last night Brady was also making loud phone calls all damned night, so I crashed for a good 4 1/2 hours after I got back from campus and woke up strongly reptilian and strongly pissed off. (am always snek but more so than usual)
so like give me smth to break
And if you're going to cite shit about "sentience" and how that's the threshold for your life and choices mattering, go jump off a cliff.
I don't dislike little fuzzy mammals. There are no animals I dislike. Also, they're delicious. (Note: vegetarian irl; my reasons for said are none of your business.)
But I have always held a certain resentment for them in discourse, seeing as they get held up as reasons to suppress my people. "Reptiles are abhorrent" has never gone away, and way too many folks proclaiming non-speciesism seem to only apply that to mammals.
Violence might be cruel. So is starvation. No one would applaud you for taking a homeless person's lunch. So why are folks saying you should do that to predators? Probably because they think little fuzzy r-selected mammals are cute and fuck everybody 3lse.
I'm just gonna assume that if you think habitat destruction / "intervention" and eliminating parasites so everybody can be happy sunshine and rainbows obedient herbivorous pets to humans is a good idea, you're volunteering to host those poor homeless parasites yourself.
Fuck "animal rights". It doesn't do anything to actually help animals or the environments they live in. I'm not against it as a concept, but I have never seen it executed well.
willing to bet that nobody would be concerned about ending the suffering of prey animals by ending predation (or "habitat destruction is good actually" which ???) if they didn't think prey animals were cute
if you're going to take the leap of ascribing morality to ecosystem processes we don't fully understand, and claiming to be nonspeciesist, then give me an answer about the welfare of the parasites.
I have not yet encountered an "animal rights / welfare" organization that doesn't actively discriminate against reptiles and invertebrates. Or that knows anything about ecology.
It's a philosophical stance based on "this makes me feel bad" and how apparently THAT is valid cause to restrict every other creature on earth's diet. Unsure how it isn't "speciesist" to decide that predators don't get to eat because you think their prey animals are cute. But that isn't a valid concept to begin with and relies on fundamental fallacies so just fuck those losers.
Despite (c)overtly ableist complaints about "iPad kids", the folks I see watching videos on their phone speakers in public most often are older adults. "IPad kids" usually have headphones.
A Viking helmet is what you wear when you go out to vike.
A revolution in consciousness doesn't do shit to actually improve anyone's living conditions.
Mucus is weakness leaving the body, except that it ISN'T because you don"t feel better afterwards you just return to baseline and there are too many fucking rhinoviruses
This might be my least favorite kind of cold, and it's one I don't recall having before. Everything is draining into the back of my mouth, so blowing my nose doesn't work, nor does coughing to dislodge it. Drinking water or cough drops provide very short relief. That is known. Likewise, it making it very difficult to speak is known, but I shouldn't move another webinar.
What differentiates it from previous colds is that the for lack of a better term, boogers are much more solid, which adds further disruption of breathing / speaking and increases the general lowering of morale.
kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill YOU CAN'T kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill FUCK YOU
Slime in back of throat can't lie down, bdeathe, or dislodge by coughing. Can't wash down with water j hate this gey me out of here down a I can't
Sick again. Fucking disgraceful; this body is weak and does not fulfill my needs.
Song of the day (inasmuch as you can call this "day"): All Time Low ft. I Prevail - Hate This Song
Yesterday's SOTD: Pierce the Veil - A Match Into Water
Just once I want to have a meeting that's actually what I asked for without "concerns for me" trojan-horsed into it.
Why are we meeting about my academic progress and strategies for success. I've pretty much stopped speaking up in class unless it's on Teams and I can do so in chat or I'm answering a direct question. My grades are fine. I'm submitting work on time. What the fuck am I doing wrong.
Song of the day is the Rollercoaster The Musical song about the titular coaster from Phineas and Ferb. It was assorted PtV songs this morning, but that's the one that has stuck for the last 8 hours.
I wonder if I could get the benefits of a cough drop if I dissolved it in hot water / tea.
God damn it, housemate1 is making a video call so the WiFi got slow.
Wanna know why "learn to self host" isn't a useful piece of advice? If you don't have your own router and powerful hardware, self-hosting and torrenting aren't viable options, hence reason #N+1 why the "indie web" / Linux fandom / etcetera are not advocacy.
https://file.garden/ZvBqN3lQEnLVuczj/Ronnie_Gets_A_Flea_Bath.md.txt
been writing this to try to get back into the habit, since it's pure abstractly-horny fluff. Of course, because Ronnie is feral in wolf form, as soon as he shifts it becomes pure comedy.
Re: the cognitive faculties question...well, he's closer to a Pokemon than to any living animal. Take from that what you will, in terms of whether Wolf Ronnie is intentionally being difficult because he knows he's adorable and can get away with it / finds it amusing as Ronnie or is just being a dog.
Guess the last segment is Arlo and Wolf Ronnie cuddling until they wake up and the latter shifts back with daylight, naked but thankfully parasite free.
I have not willingly selected an apple device since 2020 and will never buy one for myself again; this is my momâs old one that she offered me to use to take notes in class
Hate, detest, LOATHE the new iPad OS; looks ugly as shit and broke split screening so I canât do glimgloom anymore and shit doesnât scale right in windows
Seems Go Fest this year is to specifically be themed after the team leaders. Which is both good and bad for me. Good in that IT'S THEM IT'S MY GUYS and I can actually add something to the archives: after Go Fest happens, I can sludge through a Twitter proxy and PokeMiners' raw data to put stuff up. Bad in that if the team and/or Go Rocket leaders are canonically doing something specific during Go Fest, there's less room for fanfic nonsense, although I didn't have any ideas besides displaced from time preschooler Zane so.
If they release tangible merch of the team leaders, especially Spark and/or Arlo, or a patch of the Team Instinct emblem, I want it. If they had plushies, I would probably get all 3 of them and also Arlo. They are a set, do not separate.
Even if she had a citation other than "I seen it" for the those dang phones / parents don't raise their kids / diagnosis rates / etc., I feel like if you are teaching an educational support class, you maybe shouldn't be training students in that class to hold kids in contempt and expect them to be "bad"? While simultaneously saying "there are no bad kids"...
my absolute contempt towards the concept of "ipad kids" etcetera is that, well, I have seen actual nominally peer reviewed papers claiming that "digital autism" is a thing. "Kids these days", especially in conjunction with tech / media, is a baked-in ableist concept. Wanna know who ELSE is using "there's more and more X nowadays and it's a crisis" as motivation? It's not folks who'd approve of educational support, or Canada, to put it mildly. She's, like, one step removed from "bad parenting and phones make your kids have ODD / ADHD / etc so we should start beating them again", and I don't think that's what she intends.
Theme is 90% by Enforcer; the rest is thoughts.page default. Kick ass, take names, fuck Ronnie Radke (not literally).
