oh dear you've found the secret slime cave lair of enforcer @ draggian universe where they put their awful little thoughts. created as somewhere to put my angsty thoughts about how falling in reverse sucks other than the void and annoying my friends.
This is stylized to what I'm comfortable posting online, so I won't go into too much detail about anything, but it's my stream of consciousness, so you could see almost anything. Potentially disturbing things that might be likely to come up include violent imagery / jokes, angst, mentions of IRL unpleasantness, unreality and surreal stuff, and religious imagery (deities, angels, demons) as applied to myself.
Only the most recent thoughts are being shown. Anything before then is frankly none of your business, and the core concepts of anything that was actually worth keeping for informational purposes and not just live-blogging things I was doing, diary entries, or shitposts (as the kids say) are probably ending up on my Neocities.
my pokemon will sleep even when i can't
There Is No You. There Is Only Me. There Is Only Escape The Fate; YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME. YOU WILL DIE AND SITUATIONS WILL BE ON YOUR FUCKING TOMBSTONE
Whenever you read anything in this text format, that's The Eternal Enforcer, Demon King Of Edge and God Of The Music Scene speaking. I use it when I'm in a more overtly divine / demonic / distorted / conceptual shift, most frequently in my "if Ronnie is Jesus, then I'm the Antichrist" capacity.
you tell them I'm coming, and HELL'S COMING WITH ME
hold your tongue before I bite it off
Calm down. You're going to be fine. I know what I'm doing. This is for both of our own good. Now smile and bare your soul to me. Let me penetrate far enough into your mind that I rearrange your insides and free you from your sins. It's the only way. This is the only option. We Both Need This
I Am A God
Let Me Slide Myself Down Your Throat
I am therefore I am therefore I am therefore I
fuck intellectual masturbation, what you really need is disgustingly violent intellectual hate-sex
wish I could be filled with hatred and disgust at ronnie for being like that without it also being turned at myself for caring. i know that brains don't work that way, but there's a very definite internal perception that this is a waste of my talents, and that it's not Worth caring about or doing special interest intellection with, but I Can't Stop Caring no matter how much I may on some level want to
(you haven't forgotten this thoughts.page is named "firneedstodie", right? gotta live up to my branding.)
look at this dragapult one of my students drew (the online class client I use has a "whiteboard" feature, so if students join early, I turn it on so they can draw on it before class starts)
I don't know why every recent Pokemon Go event has had legendary raids every hour, but I'm not a fan. All it does is block perfectly good gyms.
i'm a simple man. i see an edgy song that mentions a snake and i like, even if as in this case it's both metaphorical and probably talking about his dick
today's RNG assessment pick is From First To Last -- a well-regarded post-hardcore / emo hybrid. However, what they're best known for is containing the guy who later became Skrillex. As in, "synonymous with dubstep, exponentially more relevant than anyone from the scenemo canon he originated in" Skrillex. He used to be their guitarist. Good for him, and explains a lot about his particular brand of dubstep and its role in my edgelording journey.
...the notion of a chia undergoing mitosis is certainly troubling
I'd think that if they were going to go a non-animal route, it'd make more sense for it to have plant rind.
Either way, weird paintbrush colors are animum overlays so don't have to correlate to a pet's actual anatomy. I'm still going to perceive them as animals for official headcanon purposes because the alternatives are far too bizarre to work with my suspension of disbelief. It's a magical paintbrush that just...looks like that, but if that is in fact Neo canon, it's hilarious.
not sure what I'd do with a pet that's a living cell diagram and I've never particularly liked Chias (although one of my old lab pets briefly zapping into an onion was fun), but I might have to make one of those as an aesthetic pet (i mean, most of my pets are aesthetic; it's not like trippfreeze does anything). they'd be a biology teacher, of course
apparently chias are single celled organisms (transparent chia released today). honestly that makes as much sense as anything. sure why not.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boys_Like_Girls
neither this Wikipedia page (collab with Taylor Swift is pretty good for them, I guess, but uh, she's about as far from edgy as it gets, and I'm not sure what to think of one of them having a country side project) nor their name, nor that I know them from one poppy song on the Emo Nite setlist, fills me with optimism.
...are they heterosexual boys, or androgynous ones? As in, is that a sentence, or a descriptor of "boys who resemble girls?" Given the genre, it could be either. Or both, for most genre guys. (Ronnie is debatable on at least one of those fronts.)
"Scenemo Canon" as a general term for the broad swath of metalcore / hardcore / pop punk / nu metal / etcetera considered to be associated with the subculture avoids that question, and I like the sound of it, hence it being what I use. In regards to myself, I use "emo" and "scene" roughly interchangeably, but generally go for "emo" or "scenemo" since "scene" is associated with the (seemingly fabricated) neon-checkerboards aesthetic, which I am not.
At least in online sources, the emphasis on rave music, Nightcore, anime-esque stuff, etcetera is there, but I have no idea where it came from, because it doesn't seem to have any connection to bands recognized as "scene", and I've pretty much run out of those in regards to the main players.
Until and unless given better evidence, I'm drawing the conclusion that scene is more of an evolution of emo than a separate concept, given that the bands and people involved seem to treat it as synonymous and treating them as different subcultures seems to the most part have started being a thing after 2015, at which point it can no longer be claimed to be a subculture in the same sense due to the massive crash.
I'm ultimately much more of a metalhead than an emo kid, musically speaking -- I tend to find songs about high school and romantic relationships uninteresting unless there's something else going on -- but nu metal and metalcore are much more accepted by emo folks than by the mainstream metal fanbase, and I like the rest of the emo ethos and look, ergo that's the label I use. (and "scene" does not seem to have ever clearly been a separate thing, and the "scene aesthetic" seems to have no relation to any actual scene bands.)
I use "scenemo" as a blanket label because I think it's funny and to sidestep the "are emo and scene different things" question, but based on my research, I don't think they are -- bands referring to "the scene" and themselves as part of it is a thing, but also dates back before emo meaningfully existed as a general term for punk / alternative spaces. I think it's more likely a shorthand for "the [genre] scene" than implying a subcultural presence called just The Scene.
The "scene aesthetic" with checkerboards and pink and black and skulls and such did and does demonstrably exist, but is just labeled as "emo" in contemporal sources. I've assessed pretty much every canonical "scene" band who isn't disgusting, and even the electronic / crunkcore ones are straight up emo aesthetically with no rave fashion in sight.
Basically, from what I can tell, "scene" is just the late 00s-early 10s expansion of emo with more focus on metalcore vs. pop punk, but seems to have been an organic gradient vs. a different subculture, and contemporal folks treated it as the same thing. The "scene aesthetic" seems to have been an Internet invention with no musical basis, and I'm not entirely convinced that it wasn't invented by Tumblr's focus on "aesthetics" after the subculture ceased to meaningfully exist due to aforementioned disgusting bands and generally troubling cultural norms. Contemporal Internet sources, at least graphics repositories and Yewchube comments, treat it as synonymous with emo.
I can understand that your extremely-poppy Simple Plans and Jimmy Eat Worlds (Jimmies Eat World?) and All-American Rejects-es and such are important to the history of emo canon by bringing emo-inspired stylings into the mainstream which allowed for the rise of edgier bands in the canon later. They're important to history and important for me to have awareness of and opinions about. But that doesn't mean that I have to like them, or spend any more time with their output than I need to in order to understand their style.
This is a band that's going to be getting the streamlined-for-speed "use the range to estimate the mean" method of assessment -- listen to their first full release, and follow it with their most recent one to see if (a) I like their new stuff and (b) what the general state of their stylistic change was. For most bands who didn't dramatically change style, that's enough to give "a reasonable conclusion about style", which is the point of assessment. All their work being worth my time is a privilege, not a right. (And I can generally determine if someone's drastically changed style with a quick surface Googling, so the issue that this method would produce bizarre results that aren't representative of their canon contributions for someone like Bring Me The Horizon [or for that matter, FIR] can be resolved.)
It's not as thorough, of course, as listening to the entire output of everybody, but it still works for the point of "getting opinions and an idea of the style and canon importance" of any given band while minimizing the time I spend with uninteresting pop punk that isn't that relevant to my mission or the sort of thing I enjoy seeking out to listen to for non-science reasons.
"Pick a random album from the middle of their career" or the one they're best known for also works, and has been pretty much what I've done with various folks from McKay's CDs. The requirement for assessment is that I listen to "enough of their work to get a good sample of style" -- at minimum one full album, or all their output if the sum total of their output is less than that. And "first and last" generally works for range. Filling in the gaps between is reserved for folks whom I actually like and would be interested in determining which songs I want to download.
I want you to tell me if my conception of this song's rhythm scheme has any basis, or if I'm just too corrupted by darker genre-adjacent folks. (Simple Plan being one of the huge -- and hugely maligned -- names of early 00s poppy-emo canon and an Emo Nite setlist mainstay, with whom I've just far been very unimpressed. I technically bought one of their CDs at McKay's last summer, but it was very scratched and didn't play.)
Anyway, I can't shake the feeling that "when you wake up, I won't be there" was supposed to be "when you wake up, I'll be dead". That would make just as much sense, is the logical rhyme with "you won't find me sleeping in my bed", and the rhythm on "I won't be there" feels...odd and disjointed with the rest of the song, which gives me the vibe of a hasty replacement to appease the censors. Which is a bit odd given that it's the title of the song, but, like, it feels...off to me. I want you to tell me (you only need to listen up to the first chorus where it occurs) if you think that's a reasonable conclusion.
There are of course plenty of adjacent genres and new bands emerging from the slime, but the criterion of "exists on Wikipedia" is a reasonable one for "relevant enough to be relevant to the canon", and I've done a surprisingly good job of getting non-Wikipedian but interesting and relevant folks via folks who open for bands I already know about and weird CDs I find.
I refuse to use Wikipedia's genre lists because how they classify bands isn't reliable. However, Wikipedia does do a pretty good job in their "history" sections of listing everybody somebody's ever toured with / shared a festival stage with / etcetera, and that's where I got the 266. (Basically, I only trust wiki genre lists for the bare minimum of approximated vibes, since my 3 favorite genres are also derogatory labels. metalcore (derogatory) is 110% a term that exists and its existence is very annoying for my purpose)
I'm mostly just impressed that list isn't larger -- there were, like, 60 bands that I went through the pages for, and by the time I got to the end, I recognized most of the names and the lists of affiliates overall got very repetitive. It really isn't that big of a Scene (TM), in broad terms. And the biggest and most frequent names were either already on my list or had already been assessed, so I'd say my research methods are pretty effective.
noticed the music scene spreadsheet seemed to actually be running out of big canon player entries (save folks whom I'm omitting for being disgusting e.g. Aiden, Blood On The Dance Floor, and Dance Gavin Dance.)
So I went through the Wikipedia pages for everybody I'd assessed and liked (who had Wikipedia pages) and grabbed the names of every non-them band mentioned who wasn't already on my list whom I didn't immediately recognize as being outside my mission statement. There were 266 bands that fit that description. Good news, though, is that as I got further, the lists started getting very repetitive, so I think if I hypothetically were to check off the rest of my list, and those 266 bands, I'd be able to reasonably call myself Done With Scene Canon. And I suspect a large portion of those weren't actually relevant.
i am a literal fucking nightmare
gods help me i think i've gotten fixated on the music scene spreadsheet
Mom-recommended small bean Sixty Lumens is reminiscent of the 3 bands they mentioned (Bad Omens, Bring Me The Horizon, and Pierce The Veil). In that they're reminiscent of how all 3 of them kind of...stopped being metalcore, and started focusing on mostly-electronic work save with guitars in it. Honey, just because bands labeled "metal" and "emo" do that doesn't make it either of those things.
Enjoyers of the late era work of the 3 folks they mentioned will probably like this. Enjoyers of their metalcore canon work, less so. It's still perfectly well-executed and was a nice chaser after several hours of stuff on the more aggressive end of my spectrum, though. Will probably give them a follow on my YouTube proxy.
(random song attached as a representative sample -- it's pretty much pop punk structure with electronic instrumentation and some mixed in guitars)
being included in the soundtrack for a kids' movie as a Generic Menacing Metal Song for a 10 second clip is honestly a pretty illustrious award when you think about it. even if half the folks in the comments misidentify you as system of a down...
watch the world burn list entrant number N+1. also apparently this was on the soundtrack for the secret life of pets????
the FUCK were those pets getting up to
I'm never sure if I should count my daily journaling for my 4thewords streak. Like, I suppose you could argue that anything helps me get better at writing, and the storytelling of my day, but it's very quick, dirty, and matter of fact. I only recently changed it from bullet points to paragraphs. And ultimately, the purpose of 4thewords is to give me the gameifying incentive to work on my fanfics and creative works, which my journal and random musings very much are not -- I count essays and stuff to go on Neocities because that's still communication, but my private journal?
Regardless, I count stream of consciousness and journaling writing on days when I don't feel up to doing creative stuff, because there's nothing more dismotivating than losing my streak, one could argue that any bit of writing helps me get better at the craft even if it's just short and unpretty storytelling of my day, and it still gets me in the habit of Setting Aside Time Each Day Specifically To Write. Plus, like, journaling as a mindfulness thing, although I'm mostly using it to keep track of what I did each day so I don't forget.
Mochia needs something with a 30-minute timer -- I know rationally that I should be brewing stuff on Flight Rising so I have a stock of slime and whatnot to sell, but I don't have that many goals on FR, so it was easiest to do that if I was pairing it with fishing / balloon pop on Santae or fishing on Goatlings. But since I don't play Goatlings or Santae actively like that anymore due to varying degrees of issues, there's not that incentive to "well, if I'm gonna be refreshing every 30 minutes anyway, might as well".
You know, just to appeal to me specifically. But in all honesty, it could use some things with shorter cooldowns for smaller rewards -- I tend to be online at wildly fluctuating times, and have often frustrated myself with how so many things are on 24 hours vs. rollover, so I can't necessarily do my "dailies" every day if I did them late on any given individual date, and there's not much reason to check in once you're done with your dailies and game plays for the day.
Is it Sempiternal 2? Totally? But it's DAMNED good at it, and that earns my respect.
happy valentines day from dead rabbitts? this one is...funky. definitely not the usual style. some weird screaming in there which i assume is from one of the collaborators since it isn't in mabbitt's vocal range. not sure what to make of it? it's not bad by any means; i'm just not sure how to classify it
"Literary men make a great fuss of their petty quarrels: the rest of the world ignores them, or laughs at them." -- Voltaire, Letter to Jean-Jacques Rousseau
On the Advantages of Civilization and Literature, 30 August 1755
see, Ronnie is part of a grand tradition! (I wonder what kind of meltdown he's going to have over being single on Valentine's Day for the first time since 2018...of course, he spent last year musing on the men in his life.)
https://courses.washington.edu/hsteu302/Voltaire%20Letter%20to%20Rousseau.htm
Pre-Ronnie Watch The World Burn list entry #N+1.
or maybe it's the transitions, which the early technique-focused work did not have, being solely focused on screaming and guitar work. either way, good. they have become actually interesting, hopefully this is maintained through the rest of their output (this is part of why i listen to things in chronological order while assessing)
again, also reminiscent of silent planet re: the focus on reality and narrative, and as shaky as the execution of protest songs can be, I think that for more technical / musical complexity focused songs, that's what they really need to not get bogged down in themselves and to not just feel like they're showing off, you know?
okay architects came into their own. again, points for being very overt about who it's for and condemning nonsense.
well, they came into their own in that they're imitating bring me the horizon. but i like bring me the horizon so. it ties together the guitar work part from their early work with more actually interesting structure -- the issue with their earliest work is that it feels like it's just a vehicle for the guitar work but there's not much else holding it together you know? this is a nice bridge between the more technical stuff and standard modern metalcore, stylistically speaking, and i appreciate the theming
any hyperfixation that lives long enough becomes a phd area
I don't have any clear musical answers for what my most favoritest songs on SANITY IS FOR THE WEAK have in common. If something fits there, it fits there, and that's all I can really say. In terms of Vibes, they mostly tend to approach-but-not-hit Ronnie's specific RSD juice except when they don't, but I can't pinpoint anything specific otherwise.
There is clearly a specific Vibe I like, in that I have a collection of songs that hit that which are my most favoritest along with my general shuffle-all library, but I can't place what it specifically is. (I suppose putting another set of eyes and brain on my SANITY IS FOR THE WEAK playlist to piece together what they musically have in common would be helpful, but there's like 200+ songs on there at the moment. I'd also need to port it to YouTube or something since it is local files.)
course, I suppose that in terms of getting another set of neurons on it to determine what things have in common, all you'd need would be a statistically representative smaller sample of indeterminate length
Perhaps I just don't have taste? Or perhaps my focus on Vibes doesn't quite align with technique. But at the same time, if any given band isn't technical enough and all their stuff sounds the same, I get bored.
A lot of the recent assessments have been "...yep. sure is metalcore. download, I guess, but is it really interesting enough to put onto the phone? I don't know."
Like, technique is interesting. Good lyrics are interesting. But something about the bands that predominantly focus on technique without Silent Planet's focus on narrative and illustrating reality just isn't quite vibing with me and I'm trying to figure out why.
Course, Silent Planet also happened to hit pretty much my exact vibe, including having an entire album that if it wasn't INTENDED to focus on my very specific Distortion World fixation, sure ended up doing that.
I think Silent Planet might have ruined me for progressive metalcore as a genre. Like, to be fair, they are literally the only band I've ever seen who did a music video with a bibliography, but what I ran into with very musically similar Erra and current prog assessment Architects is that the equally philosophically / linguistically complex lyrics and focus on reality and storytelling with Silent Planet WORKED with the more complex structure.
It just isn't hitting me to the same extent with Erra's relatively generic faux-"deep" spacey stuff and Architects' genre-standard angst. As much as I like technically complex guitar work, what I go for is Vibes, and the Vibes on this just don't quite intersect right? Like, this super complex guitar work coupled with pretty genre-standard angsty lyrics feels like a disconnect of sorts and I can't quite explain why.
https://www1.flightrising.com/dragon/98999496
HE is manifest. Tell me this lore is actually good and not super corny, please.
uh, content warning for some real intrusive thoughts as demon bullshit
So, the revelation dragon beast has 7 heads and 10 crowns, as I recall.
...how does that work? Does he have 10 crowns per head for a total of 70? How are they staying on? And if it's 10 crowns distributed across 7 heads, how does he decide which heads get the excess?
i have flight rising money and i want to spend it on something stupid but none of the dragon concepts i want are color combos that exist so i have to do breeding projects like some loser with work ethic
ronnie noises
i might be slimy
that's it
if I am corporeal it is not of my will
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